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Quarter-life crisis.
Work’s slowed to a crawl with The Idea Salesmen. I think it’s because I’ve got imagiNATION on the brain. Unfortunately I’ve not started working on the rewrite yet because, frankly, I’ve no motivation. I’m not in that head space, I guess. Maybe it’s got something to do with my birthday. I’m not sure. In any case, I put The Idea Salesmen on hold for now pending the completion of my novel. I will return to it, though; it’s just that right now, I only have the patience for one thing at a time, and I can’t write two novels at once (even though I would love to).
As I explained to a friend of mine yesterday, most of my “short” story ideas want to grow up and become novels. That’s the problem with the “novel effect.” Once you fall into that lengthy creative space, it’s hard to crawl out. I’d hoped that my excursion into the word of flash fiction would solve the problem, but it only made it worse. Those stories, for as contained as can be within a 600 word limit, still feel like unfinished sketches to me.
Saturday was my 25th birthday. I’m not where I thought I’d be at 25. Isn’t that always the case with things? At 17, when I started taking this thing seriously, I thought I’d be a millionaire by now. Funny, that. I learned early on it’s a tough market, and it’s not going to get any easier.
Erica and I spent the day together doing nothing, really. I’ve never been one for birthdays. They stopped being a big deal to me a long time ago. Still, since it was my 25th, I figured I should at least do something to mark the occasion. We went to dinner at a nice Thai restaurant, then went to Borders and Gamestop. Then we came home. That’s about it. Nothing spectacular. No drinking. Sunday I woke up and didn’t feel any different. I feel the same. Maybe that’s the problem with age - you don’t feel any different until one day you look in the mirror and realize it’s been twenty years since the last time you really noticed.
My apologies. I’m waffling.
There’s really nothing new to report, except that I’ve zero motivation, I have a novel looming over my head and will be a huge weight off my shoulders once it’s finally on its way to completion. I read an article about Stephen King and how much of an advance he used to get circa 1998. Now he just gets two million and half the profit of his book sales. Some day, when I grow up . . .
But first I guess I actually have to finish something. I swear, sometimes, I hate being a writer.
So that’s about it, folks. We should be switching to a new host in about another week or so. The site should be a lot faster after that. I promise my next post will have something to do with writing, books, publishing, etc. For now, though, I guess I just needed to reflect, and this is the only writing I feel somewhat motivated to do, so you’ll just have to endure, won’t you?
Until then, I’d like to hear from you. When you’re in a slump, what do you do to get out of it? Me, I usually take time off (like so!) and surround myself with other things, like books, movies, video games, housework, and so on. Feel free to share.
TK
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7 Responses to “Quarter-life crisis.”
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Switch to poetry! Seriously though, I’ve been in a slump with regards to writing longer stories since around September last year. Steven’s flash fiction thing got me out and about a bit more, and now NaPoWriMo is at least putting words on paper, separated as they are by line breaks and sonics.
I have a similar problem, a cousin perhaps to your novel-writing syndrome, in which the ideas that I have are too complicated for me to feel a way through them to actually begin committing them to paper. Complicated certainly doesn’t mean that they are any good, it just means that it takes me longer to understand exactly what it is that I want to do with them, what I want to say, apart from relating a tale. Usually time has a way of resolving them into chunks small enough for me to start writing, but even then I often abandon ideas mid-start when I realise that I’m not entirely sure what the underlying concept is that the story is a vessel for.
It’s overthinking, and that’s the main killer of a lot of the half-starts and aborted attempts I’ve got sitting in my Google Docs ’scraps’ and ‘WIP’ folders. Ask Thom (and when you do, say hi from me) about my ridiculous idea for where to take my ‘Trolleys’ story. It was stupidly complicated, and utterly ridiculous in both concept and possible execution.
Anyway, as for ways to get out of a slump, my best advice would be to just keep doing what your’e doing now. Take a break, allow yourself to relax and get distracted. Knowing you it won’t be long until your subconscious starts banging on your skull to start writing again. It’s drawer time for your brain, a way of distancing yourself that is important for any sort of creative process. Whatever you do, don’t force it–but you know that already (:
Are you having fun with your writing at all? That could be a reason for your lack of motivation. Flash fiction is like a sprint where novels are marathons (obviously) — to tie something up, to make a complete work, satisfying to write and read in 500 words or less, is more impressive than a 100,000 word monster.
I think fun is a major motivator with writing. Why do something that isn’t fun? Even if it’s letting you be a member of the Two Comma Club, if it’s not fun, what’s the point? Just like any job, there has to be an element to it that you enjoy; it is important, you know it is. When was the last time you went out and had some fun? Case in point: “We went to dinner at a nice Thai restaurant, then went to Borders and Gamestop. Then we came home. That’s about it. Nothing spectacular.” Sounds like a bust to me, brother. You know what I did the day before I turned 25? As much cocaine as I could stuff up my nose because I knew it was going to be the last time I’d ever do it. You had Thai and went to Borders, I was closing a self-destructive chapter in my life which allowed me to write pretty much non-stop for a year and a half. I don’t recommend my methods but do you see where I’m coming from?
Don’t make me come over there and turn into Flavor Flav on your ass. The Geritol I bring is to be inserted rectally.
Suck it up. Open up that manuscript, look at your new Wiki, and force yourself to do a little more each day. Your problem isn’t ideas, as well as know; it’s discipline. And no one can help you with that but you.
Sometimes I hate being a writer, too.
Oh, wait. HAHA!
For what it’s worth, happy birthday, dude. You know what they say about 25… if you haven’t got schizophrenia yet, you’re probably never gonna get it. Congrats. Do watch out for alcoholism, though… writers are especially prone to it.
I’ve got a rule of thumb for blocks and stumbles: if I get the urge to talk about how I’m not writing, I go write instead. I get the feeling you’re a boing boing reader too, so you probably caught Merlin Mann’s little article on crawling out of a slump. My favourite point is to just sit down and just write a few words. I dare you not to write more once you’ve got a few down.
I’m so so on this iN wiki business. I can see how it’s a good way to organize, even a way to outline and note and timeline and do everything but draft. But that’s as long as it doesn’t get in the way of actually writing the story. The best way to keep things clear, I find, comes from the Pressfield school of thought: kick off every writing session with a moment of thought, prayer or muse invocation, whatever you prefer to call it. Have in mind or recite your little mantra, your reminder of purpose, then go to work open to what needs to be accomplished. As for which project to work on, I favour a Ouija board approach. Get in a nice quiet headspace and just listen. The story most immediate will draw your hand. Let out what wants most to get out.
Happy twenty five, m8. I’m not a big birthday guy either, and ageing is no big deal. Twenty’s just been one long year. And a good ride, I might add. Kid’s heart + adult’s experience = win.
I also try to occupy my time during dry spells, but it can often turn into habitual procrastination, which I am *not* proud of. But another thing I’ve discovered, for myself, is that motivation comes and goes, and sometimes you do have to just instill discipline–or conversely take a break.
I’m finally getting over a 2-3 year spell of forcing motivation and struggling for inspiration. I really couldn’t tell you how I got out of it, but I do know that finishing the discipline to get things done helped. Inspiration is more like a force that you can direct but can’t necessarily control (sounds more mystical than it is).
Arrrrgg, correction:
I really couldn’t tell you how I got out of it, but I do know that finding the discipline to get things done helped.